RANSVESTIA

what chance do you think an untrained "Jane-come-lately"-type of wife has of making a go of it?

I haven't said anything yet about the cost and the pain and the inconvenience. Both cost and pain are very high. The inconvenience of not being able to sit down comfortably for several months, of having to leave the stent (vaginal form) in place 24 hours a day and of changing it frequently are all part of the cost. Unfortunately people can't deal with pain in prospect. Anticipated pain doesn't hurt at all but I've heard a lot of them say that "I couldn't believe the pain, it was a lot worse than I expected!"

The most successful changeovers that I know are those that were in a kind of a job that they could and did just leave on Friday as he and come to work Monday as she-with adequate warning and prepara- tion of others, of course. Some worked in their own business like photography or music scoring, etc. and they just told people and customers what was going to happen and then let it. As long as they continued to do as good work, of whatever kind it was as they used to, the customers couldn't care less. Well, if these people after several years of living as a woman still wanted surgery it was just frosting on their cake. One of my very good friends told me during this preparatory period, "I won't have surgery until I don't need it." That sounds kind of weird but there is a lot of deep sense in the remark because what she was referring to was the large number of people who have a terrible driving compulsion toward the surgery and who there- fore generally have it when they really are not prepared for the conse- quences. When she didn't "need" it, would be a time when she could quietly and intelligently contemplate the whole thing and make a calm decision about it. I couldn't argue with that and in due course she did have it and her boss even contributed to the cost of same and she has worked as a man, a pre-op and a post-op in the same job with the same people and everyone respects her and she has a very responsible position.

Strangely enough even though I am not in favor of surgery for the great majority who clamor for it because I just don't think they want it for the right reasons and have a full enough understanding of the implications of what they are doing, four of my closest girl friends are all post-operative transexuals. True, they are all intelligent people which is one criterion but I think we as girls can be closer and better friends than we could ever have been if I had been Charles and they

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